It is one thing to apologise; it is another thing to apologise effectively. To many, apologizing is a very impossible task. To summon the courage to apologise and to mess it up, does no one any favour. The inability to apologize, as well as the poor art of apologizing, has made many relationships very painful. This is because few persons know the best effective apology techniques to adopt. You may wish to ask “how should I apologise?”
Most times, “I’m sorry” may not be enough to settle misunderstandings in relationships. To enjoy your relationship, each partner must be well versed in the art of apology. That is to say, the best effective apology techniques must be adopted and utilised to minimize the tendency of having full-blown crises over relationship differences. This piece will enlighten you on the simple and effective apology techniques you can adopt to melt the heart of your partner.
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Effective Apology Techniques
What is it that really constitutes an apology? What should you do and you say you have apologised? Let us look at eefective apology techniques that would enhance your relationship today.
Apologise Early: Whenever you offend your partner, be quick to apologise. Once you discover your partner is offended, you owe him/her an immediate heartfelt apology. Apologizing early to the offended partner shows that you are truly sorry for what you did and that your offence was never intentional. Do not let the offence sit deep in the heart of the offended and do not allow time push in the hurts. Apologise early, and you have a big chance at getting a forgiveness.
Express regret/remorse: individuals can easily detect when an apology is genuine and true. If you do not want to apologise and you equally do not want to “fake” the apology, do not bother to apologise. A badly made apology could exacerbate the already committed offence, making the offended partner more offended than before. As such, your apology must convey regrets, and you must be remorseful about it. Be as genuine as you would love to be apologised to. You could say something like “I really regret offending you, i never considered the (pains, hurts, disappointment etc) my actions could cause. I am truly sorry”.
Take responsibility: To apologize is not to remind your partner how he/she offended you earlier. You must take responsibility and own up to your actions. “Although my intentions were not harmful, I am to blame for this mess. Please, I am sorry”. To own up and take responsibility, is a strong sign of strength on your part. Let your partner see and feel that you take responsibility of your actions that offended him/her. Do not attempt to defend yourself or divert the blame. Chin up and face the blames.
Promise to make amends: To most people, the best apology is that which comes with a promise. Most people want to hear “I’m sorry, i won’t do this again”. Hearing it assures them that you are considerate. Moreover, the promise to make amends helps your partner to know that you understand how he/she felt by your action, and that you are not willing to make them feel so again. To do this, you must be aware that an apology is not all about you, but also about your partner. Assure them of your repentance of your actions.
Allow time to heal: To apologise is not to be forgiven. Yes! You read that right. It is your responsibility to apologise; and the responsibility of your partner to forgive. Do not expect to be forgiven immediately you apologise. And do not also expect the pains/hurts/disappointments of your actions to disappear immediately you apologise. Let the offended partner take out time and process the hurt and heal him/herself. Just do your part and apologise and leave the rest for the offended to handle.
Understand your partner: This is as important as every of the points in this article. An understanding of who you are apologizing to helps you to know how to go about it. To some, they just want to hear “I’m sorry”. Another wants to hear “I’m sorry, it won’t happen again”. While some others want you to apologise with a gift no matter how little it is. Many other persons do not need an apology when they are still very angry. They want to be left alone first before you apologise to them. So, do well to understand how your partner wants to be apologised to. You can always ask your partner to tell you how best to be apologised to.
You can bring happiness into your life and relationship by learning these Effective Apology Techniques. Not only does apology help your partner, it ensures your happiness as well. Learn this and share with your loved ones, you can be saving a life by doing so.